Once More, With Hobbits


Once More with Hobbits


Here are mp3s of the songs (Buffy version) that we plan to do. They are large, as you might expect.

  • Rest In Peace (Buffy)
  • Rest In Peace (Blank)
  • I'll Never Tell (Buffy)
  • I'll Never Tell (Blank)
  • Standing (Buffy)
  • Standing (Blank)


    And here are the lyrics to the songs that will be sung at the RotK Line Party:


    Rest In Peace

    Saruman -- Shawn
    Gandalf -- Anthony

    SARUMAN:
    I fought
    For so many years
    Why are you all treating me
    Like someone to be feared?
    If I hadn't protected you
    You would have disappeared

    You're scared
    Afraid of Sauron's might
    With Stormcrow whispering in your ear
    You can't see what's right
    But if you'll turn your back on him
    I'll lead you to the light

    But no-
    Words are of no avail
    You weaklings and your half-dead kings
    Your rag-tag and bob-tail
    If you put your faith in them
    Then all your hopes shall fail
    So let me rest in peace

    Let me rest in peace
    You won't take this keep
    So crawl back out of Orthanc
    And go celebrate Helm's Deep
    For ones so weak as you
    There's no dishonor in defeat
    So let me rest in peace

    You know
    You're gonna be enslaved
    Yeah Sauron's gonna punish you
    Because you misbehaved
    And when the Dark Lord's done with you
    I'll dance upon your graves
    So let me rest in peace

    GANDALF:
    No, you may not go
    Your staff is broken, your power destroyed
    We'll send your master back to the void
    And leave his servants unemployed
    You’ve met a fate that you can’t avoid
    You're captive and we're overjoyed
    We'll leave you here

    And let you rest in peace
    The stone you've thrown we'll keep
    We'll let you live in memory
    Of your wisdom once so deep
    The Ents will stay to see that there is nowhere to retreat
    So we'll let you rest in peace

    SARUMAN:
    Why won't you let me rest in peace?


    I'll Never Tell

    Legolas -- Faith
    Gimil -- Anthony
    Old Man -- Chris

    LEGOLAS:
    Look it's a dwarf, he's uncouth and he's coarse
    A terrible boor
    He makes this run 'cross the wide plains of Ro-han
    Hard to endure
    The hobbits must be saved
    But you'd think he'd find time to shave
    I'll take it to my grave . . .
    I'll never tell

    GIMLI:
    Great, it's an elf who's obsessed with himself
    Now there's a surprise
    I can detect all his sly disrespect
    Because he's stiff-necked
    So he can run on snow
    His only weapon's that dumb bow
    There's just one thing that - no
    I'll never tell

    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    'Cause there's nothing to tell

    LEGOLAS:
    He's short
    GIMLI:
    He's pretty
    LEGOLAS:
    He thinks his jokes are witty
    GIMLI:
    He hums some elven ditty
    As we run along

    LEGOLAS:
    He's gross, and hairy
    GIMLI:
    He acts like he's a fairy
    LEGOLAS:
    He's stubborn and contrary
    Stupid and headstrong

    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    This chase
    Is really wearing
    GIMLI:
    No one taught him about sharing
    LEGOLAS:
    He thinks wearing brown is daring
    GIMLI:
    He can be so overbearing
    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    But it's all very well
    'Cause I swear I'll never tell

    LEGOLAS:
    We've lost the hobbits
    We're at the end of our wits
    We're here at Fangorn Forest
    With no hope in sight

    GIMLI:
    If we go in there
    I'll tell you we should beware
    The trees are -
    LEGOLAS:
    Look how the dwarf's scared!
    GIMLI:
    I'm not frightened, all right?

    (Begin Musical Interlude)

    OLD MAN:
    Look at me! I'm Gandalf Greybeard!

    (Begin Silly dialouge)

    Sign: Edoras
    G: I hate horses!

    Sign: Wargs
    G: Wargs?
    L: Wrong book!

    Sign: Wargs (crossed out)

    Sign: Helm's Deep
    G: Toss me!

    L: Forty-one
    G: Forty-two Master Legolas

    Sign: Orthanc
    G: Ents!
    L: Hobbits!
    G: Pipeweed!
    L: Pipeweed?

    (End Silly dialouge)

    (End Musical Interlude)

    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    You know
    GIMLI:
    He's quite the charmer
    LEGOLAS:
    My dwarf in armor
    GIMLI:
    When he sees the caves of Aglarond
    I know he can't help but respond
    With firm yet supple - stiff-necked elves

    LEGOLAS:
    He's brave
    GIMLI:
    He's braver
    LEGOLAS:
    I've never seen him waver
    GIMLI:
    He wants to be the savior
    Of all Middle Earth

    LEGOLAS:
    He plays the stoic
    Beneath he's quite heroic
    Although he'd never show it
    I ignored his worth

    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    I lied
    I said it's easy
    I tried
    But there's feelings I can't quell

    GIMLI:
    Could he learn to live beneath the ground?
    LEGOLAS:
    Would my people run me out of town?
    GIMLI:
    Will he think that I'm disgusting
    When my armor gets to rusting?
    LEGOLAS:
    When I go to the Grey Havens
    Will he grieve like he's been shaven?

    GIMLI:
    Am I crazy?
    LEGOLAS:
    Am I selfish?
    GIMLI:
    Am I dating someone elvish?
    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    You might think that I'm a cold fish
    But this just won't end well
    So that's why I'll never tell
    I swear that I'll never tell

    GIMLI:
    My lips are sealed

    LEGOLAS:
    Silence is gold

    GIMLI:
    Nothing to see
    Move it along

    GIMLI / LEGOLAS:
    We'll never tell


    Standing

    Sam -- Shawn

    SAM:

    I thought we’d made it out of Shelob’s lair
    The stars were bright and hope was in the air
    But it’s all ashes to me with you lying there
    But I…

    We’ve come a long way from the Shire’s hills
    You could have done it but you never will
    And I can’t bear to see you lying cold and still
    But I…

    Wish I could give way to heartbreak and give up all we planned
    Wish we’d grown gray together in our green homeland
    Wish I could stay, but now I understand
    The ring must go its way

    We swore an oath that day in Rivendell
    That we’d continue if the bearer fell
    So master Frodo, I guess this means farewell
    But I…

    Wish I could delay a moment in Cirith Ungol’s pass
    Wish I could lay my life down but it won’t bring you back
    Wish I could stay, your Samwise to the last
    But the ring must go its way
    The ring must go its way

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    Once More, With Hobbits is a Gloria Mundi production.

    The songs are intended as parody, not as copyright violation. Lord of the Rings and associated materials are copyrighted by Tolkien Enterprises. Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and associated materials and copyrighted by 20th Century Fox and Mutant Enemy. Nonetheless, we do claim copyright over the content of these pages not directly superceded by the above.

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