Once More, With Hobbits


I've Got a Theory

GANDALF:
I've got a theory that it's the One Ring
Seed of Sauron's power forged in the Cracks of Doom

ARAGORN:
I've got a theory that I'm the True King
Ruling Gondor from Anfalas to the Anduin

ELROND:
I've got a theory we should work this out
Because the fate of Middle Earth
Is hanging still in doubt

GIMLI:
Why don't I smash it, just go and smash it
(CLANG)
Which is ridiculous, of course its indestructible, like Gandalf said
'the Cracks of Doom', damn stiff necked elves and I'll be over here

BOROMIR:
I've got a theory, that we should use it

ARAGORN:
I've got a --

BOROMIR:
Rangers aren't as great as everybody supposes
Without Gondor you'd be pushing up the roses
The Ring's in our possession
We'd have to be fools to throw it away
Use it, use it, yeah we should use it!
How come you're staring?

BILBO:
I've got a theory we should work this fast
Because my belly's telling me
That lunchtime's nearly passed

FRODO:
I've got a theory, someone must take it
The ring must be destroyed forever
I'll take it though I don't know whether
I can find the way
On that dark road

SAM:
With you I'll stay
I'll share your load

ARAGORN:
You'll have my sword --

GIMLI:
                  -- my axe! --

LEGOLAS:
                           --my bow

ARAGORN / Gimli / Legolas:
And we'll defend you as you go.

BOROMIR:
Hey I'm brave too --

GANDALF:
But are you wise?
I'll lead this group --

MERRY / PIPPIN:
And we'll make nine!

FELLOWSHIP:
What can't we face if we're together?
What foe is there that we can't weather?
There's nothing we can't face...

PIPPIN:
Except for Sauron

ALL except PIPPIN:
Shhhhh!

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Once More, With Hobbits is a Gloria Mundi production.

The songs are intended as parody, not as copyright violation. Lord of the Rings and associated materials are copyrighted by Tolkien Enterprises. Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and associated materials and copyrighted by 20th Century Fox and Mutant Enemy. Nonetheless, we do claim copyright over the content of these pages not directly superceded by the above.

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